I Solemnly Swear that I am up to No Good
by HarmonyofWords
Summary: One night in a corner of the first year Gryffindor dormitory, two red-headed twins lean in over a piece of parchment that they had nicked from Filch's "dangerous" drawer earlier that day. Identical grins on their faces, they try to find out what it is - and how to unlock it.


**Note that I am not JK Rowling, thus I do not own Harry Potter - I am only playing with the magic she's created.**

* * *

If anyone had cared to check in the out of the way corner of the first year's boy's dormitories one cool night just after Halloween, they would have noticed two identical figures huddled together, wands lit up in an eerie glow. Their roommates had gone to sleep long ago, but these two connivers were wide awake, even after the exploits of the past day and part of the night. Two identical red heads bent close to each other, and two identical, excited whispers piercing the stillness of the dormitory as one of them drew something from his pocket.

"What is it, you think?"

"Don't know – come on, let me see it."

The one holding it set the item gently on the ground. "It's really old."

"Do you reckon it's really dangerous?"

"No way – the other thing I got from that "Dangerous" drawer was this drawing of Snape."

His brother glanced at the scrap of parchment and snorted. "This sketch makes him look even uglier – didn't think that was possible."

"But what's so dangerous about a blank piece of parchment?"

"No clue." Fred Weasley turned the paper over in his hands. "Two dark stains –"

"-Butterbeer -"

"One jam smear-"

"-Raspberry -"

"-A few greasy fingerprints -"

"-Some inkblots -"

"Are those blood drops? -"

"Maybe. That one looks like chocolate-"

"-Some rips-

"-Tears-"

"-Creases-"

"It's been used a lot," George flipping it open. "But who'd use a blank parchment over and over?"  
"Maybe it erases itself – think of all of the notes we could pass, without being caught."

"What's the use of a paper that erases everything you write on it?" George dropped the paper on the table in front of them. "No point in writing anything down."

"So what do people usually use parchment for?" Fred asked.

"Ransom notes."

"Letters."

"Airplanes."

"Journals."

"School notes."

Fred looked aghast. "Why would they want to remember lessons if they could forget them?"

"Beats me."

"But continuing on the point, dear brother of mine – lists"

"Maps."

"Cartoons."

"Drawings."

"Books."

George shook his head. "This is getting us nowhere."

"Well – if it uses magic -" Fred reached down and picked up the parchment. Setting it on the floor between them, he took out his wand. "Revealo!"

"Blimey, we should have thought of that first, what with all of the messa – great Merlin!"

Words were snaking around the parchment, forming spidery lines of text. Smiles slid across their faces as they glanced at each other, then bent down to read the lines.

" _ **Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs bid good day to those who have found this scrap of highly dangerous parchment.**_

 _Mr. Wormtail begs them to leave it alone before it harms them._

 _Mr. Padfoot would like to add that he is mortally offended that someone would think that something so simple as a revealing charm would ever produce significant results from an object of his handiwork._

 _Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot and would like to add that he thinks he is a bit smarter than that, if you please._

 _Mr. Moony would like to express his exasperation with his companions and bids you a good day._

George looked up, his eyes gleaming. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," he whispered.

" _Wormatil_?" Fred asked.

"That's what it says," George said, checking the paper again.

Fred shook his head. "Who names their kid Wormtail – Who _choses_ to use the name Wormtail? That's almost worse than Bilius."

As the lines faded, they turned their attention back to the matter at hand.

"So if revealo doesn't work – Specialis Reavelo?"

"We can try it."

George got his own wand out and tapped it on the parchment. "Specialis Reavlo!" he said.

A single line of text appeared.

" _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs all unanimously express – now that would have been a little too easy, wouldn't it?"_

Fred groaned. "Right – Revealo-"

"– Of any sorts -"

"– Won't work."

"Noted."

"So the spell's too simple -"

"Well, we did think of it first thing," George pointed out, flincking his wand thoughtfully and sending a few sparks from the end of it.

"I guess we're just going to have to experiment." Fred said, eyes brightening. He moved the paper slightly closer toward him, and touched the end of his wand to it. "Show us your secrets!"

The spidery writing appeared again,

 _Mr. Prongs requests that efforts to open this parchment be stopped before a rather . . . unfortunate accidents occurs._

 _Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Prongs and would like to add that exploding parchment is usually quite a nasty thing._

 _Mr. Padfoot believes that this attempt was a bit too easy for it to be true. These attempters wouldn't want him to give it all his secrets away, now would they?_

 _Mr. Moony would like to add that secrets, after all, are for him to know and for you to figure out – if you possibly can._

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Getting uppity, isn't it?"

"Too right it is. After all, brother mine -"

"There hasn't been a secret alive -"

"That we haven't been able to figure out yet -"

"Given proper time-."

"And tools,"

"Let me try one." George scooted the parchment towards him and touched his wand to it. "I, George Weasley command you to reveal yourself!"

 _Mr. Prongs states that he is offended that Mr. Weasley would dare claim to command him and his companions._

 _Mr. Moony wishes to know who Mr. Weasley thinks he is, anyway?_

 _Mr. Wormtail believe that Mr. Weasley is getting a bit uppity for someone with no good clues._

 _Mr. Padfoot would like to add that after all, it is one to four odds in his favor._

" _We're_ getting uppity?" Fred snorted. " _One_ to four odds? What do you say to that, George?"

George eyed the parchment with a wary eye "Two to four still isn't great."

"Eh, it's still a piece of parchment. Can't quite harm us now, can it?"

"Blowing up might harm us. You heard Dad all these years – don't mess with anthing if you can't see where it keeps its brain."

"Dad's the one who's always playing around with fellytones and electricity and what all, and you're worried about us working with this? I'll bet Dad doesn't know where the brain behind those things are any more than we know how to get into this thing."

"Two to four odds still aren't great."

"Oh come on – a piece of paper couldn't really hurt us!"

"Oh, all right -" George said, and they both touched their wand tips to the parchment, and said in one voice -

"We, George and Fred Weasley, Master Prankster of Hogwarts, humbly ask for you to reveal the secret to us."

" _Mr. Wormtail greatly appreciates the humbleness of this request, but not the boast that came with it._

 _Mr. Moony must add that asking nicely won't get you everywhere – this is one puzzle you'll have to work out for yourself._

 _Mr. Padfoot would like to say that you state a falsehood and that he does not believe that the Messrs Weasley were the ones who transfigured Prof Dumbledore's beard into candy floss and Prof Abbot's hair into snakes during the Halloween Feast_

 _Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot and states that this feat – a small one among many – should put the Maruders in the position you so prematurely attempt to claim."_

The twins glanced at each other, eyes shining. "A candy floss beard?"

"On Dumbledore?"

"Wicked!" they pronounced together, grinning.

"This Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs seem to know what they're doing," George added.

Fred tapped the parchment with his wand. "Too right they do. Now what do we try?"

"Here-" George said, and they positioned their wands on the parchment. "We, George-"

-and Fred Weasley-"

"who successfully managed to hang Mrs. Norris from the chalandier -"

"in the Great Hall-"

"From her toes-"

"during lunch-"

"without getting caught -

"ask for you to open!"

There was a pause, and then the writing flowed again.

 _Mr. Wormtail applauds the successful work of the Messrs. Weasley_

 _Mr. Moony adds that this impressive feat brings the Messrs. Weasley closer to their claim._

 _Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Moony – but must state that it still doesn't fulfull their claim of Master Prankster of Hogwarts._

 _Mr. Prongs does admire this display – and admits that perhaps these tries might prove successful – provided the Messrs. Weasley remain as such tricksters as they are._

"We're getting closer!" Fred leaned in, excited. "My turn. I, Fred Weasley, trickster extraordinaire, request you to reveal your clues, as one trickster to another."

 _Mr. Prongs commends the Messrs. Weasley for their persistence, and would like to ask what do they think they are up to, anyways?_

 _Mr. Moony must add that the words they tried before were no good for opening this treasure!_

 _Mr. Padfoot would like to add that passwords are seriously hard to crack if one doesn't have the right clue – choose wisely!_

 _Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Padfoot, and adds that he knows that from experience._

"What are we up to?"

"Well, we're trying to solve this riddle."

"All right then -" George placed the tip of his wand on the paper. "I am trying to unlock this treasure."

 _Mr. Wormtail dolefully reports that it was the wrong choice._

 _Mr. Prongs demands again – what to the Messrs. Weasley think they are up to?_

George poked at the text, as if hoping for more to come, but none did. "What does that mean?"

"Well, they did tell us to choose our clues wisely."

"So maybe we chose -"

"-the wrong one!" Fred brightened. "So . . . let me try – I am up to . . . to unlocking this puzzle.

Only one line of spidery text crept out.

 _Mr. Moony would like to simply say: no good._

"Try something else."

George looked at the words, shaking his head. "I'm up to finding your secrets."

 _No good._

"What do they want?" George asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "I need to think."

"Let me try, then." Fred tapped the parchment. "I'm up to the trickiest puzzle I can think of."

 _Are the Messrs. Weasley resorting to flattery? The Maruders admit the praises please their ears; however, the answer is still no good._

"Wait." Fred stared at the parchment as the words faded, then looked at George, who looked like he was almost there. Softly, Fred whispered "I'm up to no good."

Another line scribbled forth.

 _Mr. Prongs states that he doesn't believe the Messrs Weasley, and would like to know if they would swear that under oath._

"We got it!" George cried.

But Fred was staring at the message. "Swear?"

George grinned, then tapped his wand on the paper. "I swear that I am up to no good."

 _Mr. Padfoot wishes that you could be a bit more . . . serious. Solemn, even, for pranksters._

They glanced at each other, then together, set their wands on the paper and said - "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

A single line of text appeared.

" _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs express their congratulations, and proudly present the Maruder's Map."_

Twin smiles lit up their face, before they leaned closer to see what the ink spreading out from the middle showed. "What is it?"

"I don't know – let me see it."

"Fred- look there."

"Merlin! Is that-"

"-us?"

The twins looked at each other, twin grins spreading over their faces. "Wicked."


End file.
